Don't Force It

You can't force someone to
Get a job
You can't force someone to be
A father to a child who's mother
He decided to sleep with and
Then turn the other cheek
You can't force someone to
Be your friend especially
When they make it clear
That they don't want your
Friendship
You can't force a relationship
ANY RELATIONSHIP
Or for somebody to love you
You can't force people to change
So why do we still try? Because in the back of our mind
We still believe that we can MAKE things happen, when the
Truth of the matter is you can't force anyone to do anything
They have to want it for themselves. I know you can love them til your blue in the face and want them to change but until they want it...thing will REMAIN THE SAME. I'm learning that th easiest thing to do is sit back, relax, and pray. DONT FORCE
It and let God do his work.
Eventually (hopefully sooner than later) things will change for the
Better...before its too late
★Paschanita★

Realization

I'm at the point where I can no longer blame anyone for my circumstances or decesions I have made. I'm a mother and a wife so everything I do I do for them. My husband and child.
I rember how my godmother used
To tell me all the time " Child, nothing comes easy, and I mean nothing".
When I was younger around 8 or 9 I didn't
Believe it because heck, I had everything I needed and more
Never knew how much anything
Cost, the house payments, how
Much was spent on groceries,
Never knew any of that, had absolutelty no worries...and
Thats the way it should be for a child...
Then I got older around 12 and things got bad, and when I say bad, I mean BAD I turned completly to God and just felt completely at peace.
Then I go a little bit older
And my faith begin to decrease
Because the same things kept happening to me. I now understand that God will
Not put more on us than we
Can bear. If he puts it in our
Life its because he knows we
Can overcome it. But
Now that I have my own Family, my beautful daughter and husband things that at one point came so easily are becoming harder and I realize that in fact they DO NOT come easy and I do have to work
For what I need and what I want, for me and my family

~Paschanita N. Menchan~

Who you are...

I don't have the longest hair, the clearest smoothest skin, the longest legs, but none of that matters because I love me!
Sure people can say what they want, can call me what ever they feel but what really matter is who and what I see when I look
In the mirror. Have you ever heard that saying "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder", when I look at me I see a beautiful, intelligient, strong woman, a woman that my daughter can look up too. Too many times have we men and women listened to what other people had to say about the way we look...we listen to the
Standard set by society the way women "should" look, the way men "should" look and act. And we try to change the way WE are! to appreciate who you are you have to LOVE yourself. As a black woman I aint even going to lie
I love the sway of my hips, the roots of my hair, the complexion of
My skin, the curves of my body...and so does my man... But no matter what nationality you are love yourself for who you
Are and see how other people
View you, confidence is
Contagious...when you love yourself its easier for you to love others and for others to love you...
~Paschanita N. Menchan~

Self-Esteem/Respect

Just as this little kitten sees itself as a majestic lion, you should see yourself more than what people see/think of you.

Although a flower needs sunlight and water to grow, the flower can not water its self or give itself the necessary sunlight. The flower needs help, needs someone to water it, needs someone to put it in the sun so it may flourish. Just like the flower people need help to grow too.



A lot of people always tend to blame their self esteem issues on someone or something else, "I was abused as a child", "evey man/woman I have ever been with had cheated, and made me feel as if I was not good enough"...when in reality that shouldn't affect how YOU feel about YOU! Yes these type of things may make you feel horrible at the moment but you have to know that you are bigger and better than your circumstances and they work to make you stronger and wiser! You have to know what type of person you are, your strengths, and your weaknesses. No one else should be able to tell you what you are, because you know. I know things may look/get so bad that you can not help but feel helpless, unworthy, alone. But you have to be able to get up, look in the mirror and say if I don't have anybody I have God and the person in the mirror. You have to be able to lift your self up and respect yourself! Now like the flower you are going to need help to grow and stay in your self-esteem/respect. The way to do this is surround yourself with people that are going to continually push you and motivate you, this way you can stay in that positivity and push yourself harder, if u surround yourself with negativity...people that bash and criticize everything you do then yes you start to feel. Ad about yourself and don't see any good in you what so ever. So forget them surround yourself with happiness, love, and positivity and you will see a change for the better.



DONT LET YOUR PAST DICTATE YOUR FUTURE



LOVE YOURSELF NO MATTER WHAT

~Paschanita N. Menchan~

L.O.V.E.

...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering,gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such thereis no law. Gal 5:22

I was reading the following passage this morning and A LOT of thoughts came to my head

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80s arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00.I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided since I was not busy with another patient, I wouldevaluate his wound. On examining it I saw it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors and got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor'sappointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for awhile! As she is a victim of Alzheimer's disease.As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. Hereplied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognizedhim in five years now.I was surprised and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?' He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me but Istill know who she is.' I had to hold back tears as he left.

MY THOUGHTS

That is the kind of love I want in my life. True love is neither physical nor romantic.True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.Peace is seeing a sunset and knowing who to thank. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have. Life isn't about how to survive the storm but how to dance in the rain. The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a loop called Confusion, speed bumps called Friends, red lights called Enemies, caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Jobs..But, if you have a spare called Determination, an engine calledPerseverance, insurance called Faith, a driver called Almighty God, you will make it to a place called Success...rember that and you will go far

~Paschanita N. Menchan~

Friends

Just because someone calls you their friend does not mean they are. It so easy to think that some is truly your friend. I am so quick to befriend anyone that speaks to me, automatically the best about that person, trusting them, failing to realize that trust isn't just given, its earned. You just can't let someone flip through the pages of the book called your life, they have to start at the first page and get to the very end, if they truly want to be a friend. I can really count on one hand how many "friends" I have, I used to think I had tons til I realized they were there just to benefit their own needs, and I was just a step to get there...people have to learn to pick there friends carefully, me personally, I need a friend that is loyal, honest, fun, an uplifter...etc, someone to help me grow not bash me down...I need to work on myself too to be able to be a better friend to people that I already call friend...so what are you doing to be a friend.

*Panamama*

Distance

What do you do when you are miles and miles away from the person who holds your heart?
Do you sit in wallow in self-pity, cry, seek comfort in someone else?
Do you be strong, hold your head high, and keep going?
I honestly think its a mixture of all of these things, I mean you have to hold your head high
and be strong and keep going, but at the same time, it is okay to cry a little
relieve yourself of all the bad feelings...I know one thing for sure DO NOT seek comfort
in someone else. What could you possibly gain from that? Sure its nice to be able
to have someone to talk to /comfort/cuddle with when times get hard but is it worth
losing the person you really care about over something so juvenile? It's NEVER easy
being away from the person you care/love but all you can do is keep faith, and keep
all the excess negativity out of your head...is he/she cheating, will he/she find someone else
what if they wont want me after this. DUH there is a reason they were with you in the
first place. People say long distance relationships don't work...well when your married and
have made a true commitment to somebody IT WILL AND CAN WORK...it just takes extra
commitment and dedication!!! but it can be done...just don't give up, hold them down
like they are sure to be holding you down....

*Panamama*
Listening to "Acceptance"- Deep DuVal ft. Trinity (www.rebelmusick.com)

THINK...

If people would just THINK before they acted. THINK before they said something that hurt the one they truly love or care about, or just simply have any type of feelings for what so ever. THINK before they destroyed something they may never possibly ever have a chance of getting a hold of again. Why is it so hard to just THINK before you do something that can change your life FOREVER? Is it fear, stupidity, not thinking, hatered or something else? Sometimes we do things based soley on emotions. Saying that one thing that we know is going to set off that other person, or reacting in a way that may damage not only your future but someone else's. It's a hard thing for A LOT of people to grasp, that you have to THINK before you speak or act. We become so caught up in our emotions, the way we see things, that we dont THINK * AT THAT MOMENT* what the consequences may be. As hard as it may seem when you feel that anger rising the best thing to do is leave, walk away, go to a quiet place and then come back and talk to see if a resoulution can be reached (if at all possible)...these are simply solutions to how issues can be resolved simply by THINKING...*if only it was really that easy*...I know me, and i know how quick tempered I can become and the "right" words to say to someone that I feel has wronged me...and as f'd up as that may sound, its the truth , and sometimes that's what it takes to recognize when you are doing wrong so you can become a solution to a problem instead of being the problem...so the solution for myself is to THINK before everythin) I do/say because words hurt, and before EVERYTHING changes I (and im sure some of you need to sit back...breath...and......THINK...

*Panamam09*
~LISTENIN TO "MAD" -NEYO

Falling...OUT

Have you ever feel out of love with something. I mean something you were passionate about, like writing, singing, dancing. Have you ever feel out of love with someone? Like a girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife. Why do you think its so easy to love something/someone yet so hard to admit that you are no longer feeling the same way? Does it make you feel like you failed or that you didn't get the outcome you expected. For instance say you love dancing,I mean you live, breath, eat, sleep dancing, but you no longer wish to do it, it doesn't reach your soul like it used to and you want to move on to something new. Is it because you were getting nowhere, where you wanted to be, no one noticed you, or maybe you just want to do it for fun. What makes people fall out of love with things they once cared about? What do you think?

*Panamama*

Why?

Why do people always want what they can't have? Whether it be a man, woman, fame, or fortune? If you don't have it to begin with then most likely it isn't and will never be yours. I mean the fame and fortune it could happen if you work hard enough and try hard enough you could achieve that. But I notice a lot of women (men too) "fall" for someone that is already taken, or just off limits. I used to be like that too :) growing up I used to like the guys that were in a relationship knowing that it wasn't gonna happen. Maybe it was just always nice to try :) yes I know it was grimy but I was young and just didn't care. One thing I did learn is that if you get a man by making him cheat on his woman then he most likely will do the same thing to you. But why do people try to go after other people's "other half" its ridiculous and a HUGE waste of time especially if they are happy. I just sit back relax and watch it happen...watch the other person "swoon" over what they can't have :) and see how long it will take for them to realize its a no go..so why do you think people do this?

*Panamama*

Laundry

So while in the mist of doing laundry I am laying in bed and thinking. There is a lot of "laundry" in my life. There are issues in my life that can be washed and become "clean" so to speak. There have been people that have caused me pain, physically and emotionally. People that talk ish behind my back and smile in my face. I know its time to let it go, overcome it and move on, but I'm not going to lie to myself and make it seem like its an easy thing to do. I'm sure you all understand where I am coming from, when someone hurts you its not that easy to just be like "Its cool" and go back to the way things were. You may say "its alright" but deep inside you know its not and every time you see or talk to that person what they did is going to come rushing back like a flood. Why is it so hard for people to let things go and move on? Is it a fear of being hurt again? Whatever it may be sooner or later you have to take it to the cleaners and get it washed clean...
*Panamama*
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Hating? Nope! Factual opinion lol.

It amazes me how easily confused people get between "Hating" and just stating your "factual" OPINION. Hating is when you talk crazy things about something like a rapper, a friend, family, whatever the case may be. Like seeing a chick you never met a day in your life and just being like damn she ugly, or look at her clothes, things like that are cruel and hateful ("hating") now when I look at a rapper and see the buffonery he doing i.e. Lil wayne-I wish I could f*uck every girl in the world. Me stating that the song is a reflection on what our society has become, where we feel comfortable to letting our preteen daughters dance to nonsense about smashing! The least he could of done was say something about rapping it up but no....that's not important just as long as you can dance to it...*SMH*...at least when I state my facts lol I don't try to hide my identity I mean really its my opinion and what do I have to be scared of? Honestly. That's another thing about Hating. It amuses me how easy it is for someone to talk sh*t about someone online but decide to stay "anonymous" I mean really get of your "high horse" and get real. Can't nobody really do anything to you for stating your opinion as long as you aren't trying to really tarnish anyone's image. If you bad enough to say it be bad enough to leave your identity. Yeah, of course people sometimes say I hate, well if that's the way they look at it alright, cool,...next...and I keep it moving ;)....

*Panamama*

Business

I don't know what it is but it seems like some one in a business always wants more than anyone else in the business. It also seems like when somebody in charge wants something done they want it done exactly when they want it and how they want it. To me (even though I'm not really a business person) everyone's opinions and thoughts should matter. I understand that you can't always accommodate everyone's needs, but to keep a happy business their opinions and thoughts should at least be considered. I think a business would be more productive if everyone came to a compromise about what would be best for the company...again I speak from a non-business perspective and am speaking from my personal thoughts. When you're in a business you have to give just like you receive. One person can not do more than anyone it should be a fair share to make sure that every one carries the same workload. Yes, I know there has to be a "Manager" or a "Boss" but that doesn't mean that they should have to carry EVERYTHING on their shoulders. They may have to carry a little more than others but that's what they are there for to GUIDE and LEAD the people in the business not DICTATE every single thing that goes on. The worst form of managing is MICRO-managing. I mean really who wants to be watched and corrected for every single thing they do? I know I would not. I also realize that when your in a business you cant just come up with an idea and not speak to your boss first to get their approval. That's just how it goes. Sometimes when you have a small business and things don't seem to work out and peoples personal emotions start to get involved more than anything else its time to cut your loses and move on. Hey, you can't make everyone happy all the time right. My final thoughts are DON'T EVER MIX BUSINESS WITH PLEASURE its like oil and water, they just don't go together! What are your thoughts on how a business (especially smaller one) be handled?

*Panamama*

What to do?...

What do you do when you feel like you have given somebody your all and they take it for granted? Do you give up and turn away? Do you fight for what you want? This is something I deal with on a regular basis. It could just be me being over sensitive over analyzing things. I know women deal with situations differently then men but that doesn't make us wrong or overly sensitive. The man may feel as if he is giving everything he can but the woman may feel as if its all a joke. So what do we do to make ourselves feel better? Do we just hold it all in or let it all out. Its complicated. When you let it all out at once the other person may feel like you are trying to hurt their feelings or tell them all their faults. When you hold it in eventually it becomes to much and you will explode. The only thing I know to do is talk to each other, get your space when and if you need it, respect each other, and love them through it all. Eventually everything will get better. Also, pray its a huge factor, everyone should have God in their relationships to strengthen it and help it grow

*Panamama*

MUSIC?

It's really funny to me when people describe to me what music is. I mean really is music something that makes you want to "pop your booty", make babies, or just act a fool? I think our society has forgotten what music is. Luther Vandross made music, The Isley brothers made music, Crash Crew made music, Michael Jackson (RIP) made music, these are just a few that made good music, music that went through your body and touched your soul. Now it seems that the music industry has sunken to a new all time low where we are dancing to a song called "Your a Jerk" I mean really you couldn't think of anything better. I'm not hating because they are still getting that paper, but dang when was the last time you heard music that meant something other than shaking your fatty? I mean really. So far I have only heard of one artist that truly does that, Deep DuVal the Dictator of Rebel Musick. Some people may find his genre of music hard to listen to because he's not talking about dropping down spread eagle or riding full speed in a lambo. Nope! he spits about politics, family, hell he even spits in Arabic! How many rappers you know do that? I think its time we step our game up I mean if T-pain can get a deal with all that darn auto-tune he use why not sign somebody with real talent.

*Panamama*

www.rebelmusick.com/deepduval

Loving Somebody

To love somebody means to give them your all even when you don't wan to
Loving Somebody unconditionally even when they wake up in the morning and their breath is on fire.
When you truly love somebody you don't continually hold their mistakes over their head, when its done its done, move on.
Many people including myself make the mistake of being in love with somebody and making mistakes and never forgiving yourself for those mistakes.
When you cant forgive yourself you constantly hold all your wrong doings over your own head, which in return makes you feel as if your significant other is always looking down on you for what you have done, when in fact they are not.
As soon as you forgive yourself things will become clearer and you will have the opportunity to move on and start fresh, and hopefully change so you don't make those mistakes again.


When you do decide to love somebody you have to be willing to accept them faults and all. I know sometimes that may be very very hard especially when things aren't going the way you planned or desire, but it can be done, with patience and understanding.

Loving Somebody and having them love you back is truly the best feeling in the world.